(A campaign against domestic violence)
“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.” ― Unknown
So I’m sitting in front of my computer, thinking about the woman who passed on a fortnight ago. Her name was Amina. She had the loveliest set of teeth I had ever seen. I knew this, oh yes, I knew it because she always wore the best smiles.
I remember thinking on different occasions that Amina went to bed smiling as she almost always had a smile on. I am still trying to remember if I ever saw her without a smile because she would smile even while talking.
Great surprise how Amina had died of a heart attack on that fateful Tuesday, even more baffling were the terrible marks on her body and realising she was depressed even though she died of other causes.
I was at the Federal Clinic when she was rushed in. Initially I had no idea who it was but when the doctors tried to resuscitate her and then the scariest words I ever heard were said, “we lost her”… I looked on in shock and then I saw her… it was Amina. I could have sworn she still had the perfect smile in death.
Then the curiosity of an observant doctor played out and he enquired on what had led to the incident. I noticed an elderly woman beside herself with pain, shaking, crying, her eyes filled with deep regrets, it felt as though she had lost everything. I pitied her.
She had this look towards Amina’s husband who was muttering an explanation that didn’t quite add up to that doctor. The doctor tried to elicit some more answers from Mr. Igodo (Amina’s husband) and he kept giving dodgy answers. Then maybe as divine providence wanted it, Dr. Wilson noticed the crying woman and asked… “your daughter?” She gave a weak nod in the affirmative and suddenly Mr. Igodo became uncomfortable.
I didn’t quite hear the question that followed but the woman sank onto the floor of the A&E and gave the loudest heart wrenching cry and then she cursed and cussed and turned on to blame herself.
She had dared the doctor to see the marks all over the deceased. She repeatedly said, “see the marks, see them all over…my daughter complained, she was sad, very sad, she even attempted suicide twice… I thought this would get better, I kept encouraging her even when she suddenly became hypertensive…now Attah has killed her…Attahiru Igodo you have killed my child, my only child.” Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe it.
Dr. Wilson had quickly invited the police and Mr. Igodo was arrested. I remember Amina’s mother mumbling to herself, “medicine after death. Of what use is this now when she is dead? Had I known!”
Amina was a victim of domestic violence and had carried her pains with “grace” or so she thought. She masked it all with a charming smile and no one ever suspected she was dead on the inside. Worse still she had reached out to her family severally and they bullied her into remaining in an abusive environment.
She had lived with hypertension from her mid-twenties and the stress from her marriage worsened the illness. She was a full time mum and with no real savings of her own, felt there was no other option than continue to “cope”. Amina was being beaten yet again when she slumped and was rushed to the hospital. Sadly, this time she did not make it. Her 4 year old twins are now motherless.
As I type on my computer, I have the tears again thinking upon the fact that Amina is gone and now all there is left are regrets. She is no more. Yet another preventable death…
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This piece attempts to bring to the fore the dangers of domestic violence. No one should remain in a toxic and physically abusive environment. Leave to live! It does not matter if you want things to work out in that situation, mend whatever bridges or fences from a distance.
Too many people have tried to “cope” and they lost their lives in the process. They left behind everything and what is even worse is the regret that those who advised them to stay, have to deal with for the rest of their lives. The statistics are alarming and more and more women as well as men are victims of domestic violence. Please leave to live! Say no to domestic violence.
#leavetolive #saynotodomesticviolence #stopdomesticviolence #mentalhealth #speakup #yourhealthfirst #lifefirst #youfirst #fiction #PYwrites
Tamara's Addiction 